We've all been there - it's 2am, you're on your fifth cup of coffee, and you're staring bleary-eyed at a blank proposal document due at 8am. No pressure, right? Here are some comedic tips to get you through the proposal crunch and hopefully land a win (just don't tell your client we said to do these!):
Throw in some buzzwords - If it's not jam-packed with words like 'synergy', 'blockchain', and 'outside the box thinking', is it even a real proposal? Season to taste with meaningless jargon.
Boost your credentials - We've all stretched the truth just a little on our resumes. In a proposal, grab life by the lapels and straight up fib about past experience. Make yourself sound like the second coming of Einstein.
Lavish cover design - Forget substance, this baby needs some serious swag. Holographic covers, belly bands, delicate embossing - leave no embellishment behind in your quest to bedazzle.
Sell them dreams - Your solution isn't just innovative, it's downright magical! Promises of rainbows, butterflies and a pot of gold just waiting at the end of the project. Sign on the dotted line before they realize it's all hot air!
Format be gone - Who has time for proper structure and coherent arguments when adrenaline is pumping? Dump your jumbled ramblings into the prettiest template you can find. Easy win!
Of course, we don't actually recommend trying any of these questionable tactics... unless you're feeling lucky! In all seriousness - focus on demonstrating your understanding, approach and value. With the right message and presentation, you've got this. Now go win that work!
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